Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual problem in men under 60. According to studies, more than 20% of men worldwide are affected by this problem. Only when premature ejaculation occurs in more than half of sexual contacts is it considered a real problem that can or should be treated by a doctor.

Do you have no control over your ejaculations? Do you have premature ejaculation during the majority of your sexual contacts? Do you no longer feel satisfied by your sexual intercourse?

Table of contents

2 Premature ejaculation

2.1 What is premature ejaculation?
2.2 How early is „premature“?
2.3 How many men suffer from premature ejaculation?
2.4 At what age does premature ejaculation occur?
2.5 What causes premature ejaculation?
2.6 What causes premature ejaculation?
2.7 What can I do about premature ejaculation?
2.8 How does the „stop-start“ technique work?
2.9 Do aids from sex shops help me?
2.10 What should I do if I can’t solve the problem on my own?

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2 Premature ejaculation (ejaculato praecox).

2.1 What exactly is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is the term used to describe the sexual disorder in which a man ejaculates or orgasms too early, or colloquially, „comes too soon“. In technical terms, this is called „ejaculatio praecox“. In extreme cases, it is impossible for him to penetrate the vagina or the mere thought of a sexually arousing situation is enough for him to have an orgasm. However, this is rarely the case. Usually, ejaculation occurs during or quickly after insertion of the penis into the vagina.

2.2 How early is „premature“?

Contrary to many popular beliefs (sexual myths), scientific research has shown that most men have their orgasm/ejaculation within three minutes of vaginal penetration. Nevertheless, there are of course men who can hold back their ejaculation for much longer and men who have their orgasm significantly earlier. Therefore, the most important criterion for assessing prematurity is that ejaculation is experienced as too early by both partners and that this puts a strain on the sexual relationship. Therefore, it is important to have an idea of what can be „normal“ as well as to know the partner’s wishes and ideas: What one person experiences as too early may already be too late for the other.

2.3 How many men suffer from premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems for men. Almost every man will have experienced or occasionally experience premature ejaculation. This is completely normal and has a lot to do with the environment, mood and tension of the situation. It only becomes a problem when premature ejaculation occurs in the majority of sexual contacts. According to scientific studies, up to 35% of all men experience premature ejaculation more than occasionally.

2.4 At what age does premature ejaculation occur?

In principle, premature ejaculation can occur at any age, but the problem usually begins in adolescence. Often the problem disappears with advancing age. It is true that the more unusual and exciting a sexual situation is, the more likely it is that premature ejaculation will occur. This is independent of age.

2.5 What causes premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation can cause a lot of stress in the relationship. Often the man feels that he has little satisfaction or does not feel the ejaculation. Sometimes this makes it difficult to maintain an erection and sexual arousal decreases. This often happens because of an excessive effort to delay ejaculation. The man is so preoccupied with thoughts of „technique“ or avoiding movement that the fun of the sexual encounter is lost.

Therefore, the „foreplay“ is often shortened by the man in order not to become too aroused himself. However, this often results in a lack of arousal in the woman. This can then result in painful, unsatisfying sexual contact without orgasm for the woman. In many cases, this results in a significantly reduced number of sexual contacts until finally sexual intercourse is completely abstained from.

2.6 What causes premature ejaculation?

Only in a few cases is premature ejaculation due to a physical illness or cause; this can be an inflammation in the urethra, for example. In most men, premature ejaculation occurs in exciting situations during adolescence, e.g. during brief sexual contact with a girlfriend when the parents are out of the house for a short time.

With increasing age and sexual experience, a man learns to estimate his „ejaculatory reflex“, i.e. the point at which ejaculation becomes inevitable. Sexual contacts also become less exciting. Men who are not able to control this often have high levels of anxiety, low self-esteem and the perception of being a bad lover. The problem is often exacerbated by a frantic effort to delay ejaculation or by unintentionally negative comments from the partner. However, those affected should know that premature ejaculation is not a bad thing and that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

2.7 What can I do about premature ejaculation?

Many men can solve the problem of premature ejaculation on their own, but many others need the help of a specialist.

The first step should be to talk openly with your partner, because even if you feel that you are coming too early, this does not mean that your partner is unhappy about it. For some men, frequent ejaculation, for example through masturbation, helps to reduce their arousal to sexual stimuli. Practising the „stop-start“ technique has also been found to be helpful in learning to control the „ejaculatory reflex“.

2.8 How does the stop-start technique work?

You yourself or your partner stimulate the penis until you feel that your ejaculation is becoming inevitable with further arousal. At this point you stop the stimulation and continue when your arousal has subsided. Repeat this four times before you actually ejaculate. In this way you can learn to control your ejaculatory reflex.

2.9 Do aids from sex shops help me?

Many sex shops offer aids to control ejaculation, such as anaesthetic creams. Unfortunately, these are often not very well tested by scientific studies, the application is annoying or unpleasant and the success is low.

2.10 What should I do if I cannot control the problem on my own?

Then we recommend that you talk to your family doctor, who will usually refer you to a specialist. The specialist can be a doctor like a urologist or a psychotherapist. If methods such as psychotherapy do not help, treatment with drugs that delay ejaculation can be tried. Active substances that are used can be paroxetine, fluoxetine or sertraline.